every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think people are normalizing furries
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
