you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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