And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
