you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
