on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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