you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
