I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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