I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
