K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
