Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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