when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
