The maid of honor just puked.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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