"it" just moved
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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