I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
no you cant smoke seaweed
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
