Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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