Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
