Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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