I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
