Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize