I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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