I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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