What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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