everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
