She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize