Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
