Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
