Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
