I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Life is so much better after having sex.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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