nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
