I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
