he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
