ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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