I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dignity is for republicans.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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