Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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