maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
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Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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