my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
