he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize