you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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