Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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