I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Watching her eat just hurts me
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
