I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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