They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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