what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I feel great
I just peed on a car
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
