I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize