There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
