And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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