ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
