you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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