I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
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I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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