no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
