glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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