she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
