Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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