You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
