yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
