my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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