Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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