its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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