oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
