woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
