so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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